I am currently unemployed. And the decision to become unemployed was 100% mine. Yes, I know I wrote a blog post months ago about my "awesome new job" and how much I was loving it. But things change, oh boy, do they ever change!
What started off as a great job in April, soon turned into a mediocre job in late May/early June, which then turned into a "I'm not so sure about this job, but I'll hang in there and see what God has planned for me" in late June. The results of hanging in there? Well, I found out that my job had officially turned BAD, and there was nothing left for me to do except take my experience and leave.
I gave my resignation on July 2. It came as quite a shock to 2 of the Board members. How my resignation was received by the others on the Board, I'll never know. But I sure would like to know...especially from the person who was responsible for the chain of events that led to my choice to leave. When I say "person who was responsible", I don't mean the person or people who I point my finger at and say it was their fault. NO...it wasn't any one person's fault. I really mean the person who is in the leadership position at my old job. Anyone in a leadership position knows that when something goes wrong, there will be some blame assigned to them. That's just the nature of management and leadership. During all of the craziness that led up to my resignation, I never once tried to point the finger at one person and try to give the blame away. I took on some of the blame. I said things like, "I know I could've handled that situation differently. I learned something from that incident and I will not handle future problems this way." I humbled myself. I never once tried to lord my position or title over my employees, yet it seemed as though I did by the interpretation of my actions.
Even when given the chance to tell my side of the story to the Board of Directors and committee members, I told the truth of the matter, which came from my heart and not my head. I'm thankful that I am a Christian, that God has given me grace through faith which led to my salvation. Because of His saving grace, the Holy Spirit lives inside of me and that Spirit is God Himself, who is with me all the time, helping guide me and direct me in the ways I should go. Sometimes we encounter circumstances in our life where we feel deeply troubled. We wonder and ask ourselves, "Is this the right thing for me?" and then we get down and pray and ask "God, what do you want me to do? Show me and lead me to your will in this situation. I cannot do this alone."
I sought counsel from my Pastor on the troubles I was facing on the job. The outcome of the session was that my heart was not in right place. I was trying to fix the problem on my own. (even though I was not aware of it, I thought I was giving it up to God and trusting Him) So I prayed and prayed, and read the Word a lot (the book of James, chapters 1-3 is where I read from for the week leading up to my resignation). I sought after Jesus during these struggles, and He led me to speak with some people who were unrelated to my job who were able to confirm and answer my question about whether to continue in the job or not. The answer was no, you need to get out of there, this job is not right.
So I resigned and immediately, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt that everything was going to be okay, I had made the right decision and God will continue to take care of us, like He always does and will do.
The Bible verse that helped my decision is James 4:17. It reads, "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin." So if you knew that a co-worker was stealing from the petty cash drawer, and you know that it is wrong (duh), and still did not speak up and tell a manager about it, then you would be in the wrong. You would be sinning.
Well, my situation wasn't about someone stealing. It's about something you'd never find specifically in the Bible... which makes it difficult for some people to understand. Even unbelievers and agnostics know the basics of the major no-no's in the Bible. Thou shalt not commit murder, thou shalt not steal...etc. But for something that is based on professional standards, it's a lot harder to prove right from wrong, or rather, right from acceptable.
As Club Manager of Eno Valley Swim and Racquet Club, I was responsible for managing my staff of lifeguards and snack bar workers. Each worker had a list of standards that I had laid out at the beginning of summer which chronicled my expectations for them. You know, things like, "Be on time for work. If you're going to be late, please call me and let me know." Well, the expectation/standard that I gave to the lifeguards which eventually led to my resignation was this:
On duty lifeguards will sit in the lifeguard stand, attentively scanning their zone of the pool, and wearing the lifeguard rescue tube properly: strap across the chest, and the tube placed on the knees/thighs.
To make a long story short, the lifeguards did not like that standard/expectation. Why? Because they didn't have that as a standard the year before, or any of the 29 years before that either. The Club Manager before me did not care enough to mandate the professional standard of wearing your lifeguard uniform the proper way. The lifeguards resisted, and I reminded them. "Please wear your strap and place the tube on your knees...thank you!" -- I said that at least two times to the majority of my lifeguard staff. Well, the lifeguards finally had enough of me enforcing this standard/policy/rule of mine, and they fought back. They whined and complained to their parents and the Board members. The Board members felt sorry for them. The Board called a closed meeting between them and the lifeguards, and I was not invited. Then the Board wanted to hear my side of things. I presented to them the evidence of my staff not following the standard, along with the professional standards from the American Red Cross.
The end result was my boss telling me to "get rid of that rule and just let them do what they want when they're up in the guard stand." First, it was a directive. Then, the second time he said it during the same conversation, it was a suggestion. Then, when I asked him to put this all in writing, he got mad at me and yelled at me for making his job harder, and how awful that was to even ask because he has taken so much time out of his personal life this past week....
So, to conclude: It is wrong (to me) to allow lifeguards to NOT wear their strap and to let them use the guard tube as a foot rest. So since that is wrong to me, if I do it (because my boss told me, err, I mean, suggested I do it) it is sin. Hmmm, to sin or not to sin? That is the question! A Christian friend of mine put it this way, "If he is asking you to compromise on what you believe is right, then you know what you have to do. When you compromise from righteousness, it only leads to unrighteousness." Well said.
So I have been unemployed since July 2. But a week later, I found out that we were pregnant! So really, I do have a "job". I'm growing and nurturing a baby. And I'm still doing my "job" as wife to Rob. And all the other numerous things that go into it, like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. So I'm staying busy, or, as busy as I can, due to the effects of pregnancy on my body. I've dealt with morning sickness twice, general nausea too many times to count, and out-of-this-world tiredness like nothing I've ever felt before!
So I am really very happy to be unemployed right now. Sure, it'd be great to work a little outside of the home, to help pay more towards debts and future bills, but it's okay for now. I applied to a handful of jobs a few weeks ago, and nothing has come of them (and I'm well qualified for them), so I'm just going to be content with what I have that God has continued to bless us with: food, clothing, shelter, Rob's job, the new life growing inside of my womb... and trust that if God has work in my future, that it will come and I will know and be sure of it.
Thanks for reading!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Rapid Blogging - Blog #3: Rob's Health
Rob is still dialyzing 3 times a week at the nocturnal clinic. It works for us. Unfortunately, it didn't work out so well for our dialysis friend, who recently transferred out of the nocturnal clinic to an afternoon shift at a nearby clinic. I'm glad to hear that he is at least a little bit happier at the new clinic and dialyzing at a different time. But I sure do miss being able to say hi and catch up with him whenever I went to visit the nocturnal clinic!
Rob has good days and some bad days. His good days are great, and his bad days are awful. The in-between kind of days are best described as "meh". For those of you who have never heard the term "meh" before, here is the Wikipedia definition of it:
Rob has good days and some bad days. His good days are great, and his bad days are awful. The in-between kind of days are best described as "meh". For those of you who have never heard the term "meh" before, here is the Wikipedia definition of it:
"Meh" is an interjection, often an expression of apathy, indifference, or boredom. However, it can also be used to indicate agreement or disagreement. It can also be an adjective, meaning mediocre or boring.
Well, that definition sure doesn't hit it on the head. How about this definition, from the characters who created it (the Simpson's):
"It was actually spelled out in The Simpsons when Homer is trying to pry the kids away from the TV with a suggestion for a day trip. They both just reply 'meh' and keep watching TV; he asks again and Lisa says 'We said MEH! M-E-H, meh!' "
There, now that one is better. Life on dialysis is a lot like that kind of "meh". Anyone reading this who is or ever was on dialysis at some point in their life (or who is a caretaker or spouse to someone who is/was) will understand that.
Back in the early days of dialysis, way back in 2008, Rob actually did feel better after a session of dialysis. His blood was cleaned out and there weren't a bunch of toxins floating around his body. But as dialysis has continued, and Rob had his double nephrectomy, and the wait on the transplant list continued to click 1 day closer every day, things have gotten tougher.
There are more bad/awful and "meh" days than there are good days. Rob still continues to struggle with low blood pressure. Every time he gets up from the couch, the bed, or stands up from bending over, he has to lean against a wall or a door frame for 10-15 seconds until the dizziness goes away. He sometimes also gets ringing in his ears and his eyesight is affected (gets blurry or shadowy). It does worry me, but what is worry?
Worry is just an emotion. Everyone has worried about something in their life before. Wikipedia (again) says that "Worry is the state of engaging in chains of thoughts and images of a negative and an uncontrollable nature in which mental attempts are made to avoid anticipated potential threats." Worry can sometimes lead to fear, but I have not allowed it to go that far. Most of the time, I try to turn my worry into thoughts and images of a POSITIVE and ever-lasting love that is promised to us from God. Everyday is a gift from God. We are not promised a new day, and there's nothing we can do or say or think that will prove otherwise. If the Lord wills, I will wake up tomorrow and thank Him for the continued breath of life. If the Lord wills, Rob will wake up tomorrow, connected to his dialysis machine, and thank God for His creation, His continued sustainability from a machine that sucks life out of him and pumps it back in, continuously for 8 hours. We have nothing to fear when we learn to put our trust in God. I do trust God every day. I trust that His plan is better than any plan I could create in my mind. And this trust is part of my faith. Faith in God for all the things that have happened in the past, present and those that will happen in the future.
Speaking of the future, faith about the future is usually called "hope". I hope for many things. I hope to have a healthy baby next March. I hope that Rob gets a kidney transplant. Actually, I hope he gets one soon. I hope that our dialysis friend gets a kidney transplant, too. I hope that our church will continue to grow and bring more people to the saving knowledge of Christ, changing their lives and the community around them for the better. I hope for... well, I could go on, but I'll spare you.
What do you hope for?
Rob has been on the transplant list now for around 1130 days. That's about 3 years and 1 month.
In other health related news, Rob had a minor surgery last month for an unrelated-to-dialysis condition. I won't go into details because we don't really want to talk about it. But it's nothing scary, so don't worry!
The most recent "bad" day that Rob had was this past Tuesday. As he was coming off of the machine after treatment all night, the dialysis tech made a mistake. Instead of having Rob's blood pumped back into him with saline (when the machine is turned off at the end of treatment, there is still blood in the tubes and inside the filter/machine, and that has to be returned to Rob's body), the blood was pumped further OUT of him and into the bag of saline. Yeah, backwards... not the right direction. Then, when the needles were being taken out of his arm, I don't know exactly what happened, but there was a blood spill which resulted in more of Rob's blood going where it shouldn't: on to his bed sheets and on the floor. Ugh. Groan. Sigh.
We know accidents happen. That's why Rob isn't holding a grudge on this certain dialysis tech who made the mistake. But mistakes do have consequences. Unfortunately, the consequences aren't paid by the person who made the mistake. Rob felt so horrible due to the amount of blood that wasn't returned to his body, that he took the day off from work. He had zero energy that day. We spent the day on the couch watching multiple movies and eating leftovers from dinner the night before.
Oh, and lately, part of why Rob has been feeling so yucky and low-energy is because his hemoglobin levels are too low. Normal hemoglobin levels should fall somewhere in between 12 and 14 g/dL. Patients with kidney failure have reduced hemoglobin levels (just like cancer patients who are undergoing chemotherapy do, too). That's why they give him EPO during his dialysis treatments. Well, recently, someone at the National Institute for Kidney Whatever decided to lower the acceptable limit for "normal" hemoglobin for patients on dialysis. It used to be 12-14. Now it is acceptable for Rob's hemo to drop into the 10-12 range and be okay. So Rob's last lab results showed that his hemoglobin level is 10.2, which means, "all is good". News flash: no, it's not! Whoever is responsible for lowering this acceptable level should feel shame. Yes, your decision to lower the level is probably saving dialysis companies MILLIONS of dollars every month, because it means they use less Epogen and therefore pay less money to Amgen, the creator of this miracle drug. Woo-hoo. Good for you. I hope you sleep better.
We asked the dialysis nurse if they could give Rob more EPO, since his last hemoglobin level was only 10.2. You can guess what the answer was.
I guess that about sums up Rob's health. I feel bad for ending on such a negative note. But, it's life, and it's our life, and I am compelled to share it with whoever reads it.
Thanks for reading!
Rapid Blogging - Blog #2: The Big News
Okay, most of you that read this blog are either family or friends who are close enough to us to have already heard the "Big News", so I'm sure most of you will not find this blog entry informative. However, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading it.
On Saturday, July 10, Rob and I found out that we are expecting a baby! Wow! :)
It took us completely by surprise. We had it confirmed 3 days later by my family practice doctor, who told us that our due date was February 22, 2011. Then, on July 20, I went to my first OB appointment at Duke Women's Health Associates at Patterson Place, where I had my first ultrasound. Rob came with me to this appointment, and we both got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Super wow! Here is the first picture of our baby:
They measured the embryo in 3 different places and they calculated a new due date for us: March 6, 2011. It's so different than the first due date they gave because my menstrual cycles aren't exactly regular, and so it's more accurate to just measure the baby than it is to ask me the date of my last period.
Rob and I are so excited about this news that it's hard to put into words! We called our parents to share the great news, and then we blabbed it to the world, well, our social network, right after that. We just couldn't hold in the news! I know a lot of people wait until the first trimester is complete before they announce the news to "everyone else"...but we're not those kind of people! You know Rob and I, we both love to talk and share good news!
So as of today, I am 9 weeks and 5 days into the pregnancy. I had my 2nd OB appointment yesterday and it went very well. My doc praised me for healthy weight gain, good blood pressure and for asking good questions. She tried to hear the baby's heartbeat yesterday with a fetal doppler, but couldn't find it, which she said is normal this early in the pregnancy. So she decided to give me another ultrasound where she could check on the baby's heartbeat much easier. Which produced another picture of our baby (this is much higher quality):
I think it's totally amazing to see the difference between the first ultrasound picture and the second one! What an absolute miracle this life is! The 1st picture literally looked like a diagonal blob, and a little over 2 weeks later, it's actually looking like a baby! I see a large head (maybe we will name him Sir Issac...just kidding!), a tiny nose, 2 tiny arms and 2 tiny legs!
God is so wonderful! In the midst of all of our daily suffering through dialysis and polycystic kidneys among other things, God gives us a beautiful, precious gift. Something we've wanted for so long. Something we've been trying and hoping for. Something we thought we weren't going to get, hence all the talk and action in the past year about wanting to adopt children...
God is the creator of this baby and He will get all the glory for it!
Thanks for reading!
On Saturday, July 10, Rob and I found out that we are expecting a baby! Wow! :)
It took us completely by surprise. We had it confirmed 3 days later by my family practice doctor, who told us that our due date was February 22, 2011. Then, on July 20, I went to my first OB appointment at Duke Women's Health Associates at Patterson Place, where I had my first ultrasound. Rob came with me to this appointment, and we both got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Super wow! Here is the first picture of our baby:
They measured the embryo in 3 different places and they calculated a new due date for us: March 6, 2011. It's so different than the first due date they gave because my menstrual cycles aren't exactly regular, and so it's more accurate to just measure the baby than it is to ask me the date of my last period.
Rob and I are so excited about this news that it's hard to put into words! We called our parents to share the great news, and then we blabbed it to the world, well, our social network, right after that. We just couldn't hold in the news! I know a lot of people wait until the first trimester is complete before they announce the news to "everyone else"...but we're not those kind of people! You know Rob and I, we both love to talk and share good news!
So as of today, I am 9 weeks and 5 days into the pregnancy. I had my 2nd OB appointment yesterday and it went very well. My doc praised me for healthy weight gain, good blood pressure and for asking good questions. She tried to hear the baby's heartbeat yesterday with a fetal doppler, but couldn't find it, which she said is normal this early in the pregnancy. So she decided to give me another ultrasound where she could check on the baby's heartbeat much easier. Which produced another picture of our baby (this is much higher quality):
I think it's totally amazing to see the difference between the first ultrasound picture and the second one! What an absolute miracle this life is! The 1st picture literally looked like a diagonal blob, and a little over 2 weeks later, it's actually looking like a baby! I see a large head (maybe we will name him Sir Issac...just kidding!), a tiny nose, 2 tiny arms and 2 tiny legs!
God is so wonderful! In the midst of all of our daily suffering through dialysis and polycystic kidneys among other things, God gives us a beautiful, precious gift. Something we've wanted for so long. Something we've been trying and hoping for. Something we thought we weren't going to get, hence all the talk and action in the past year about wanting to adopt children...
God is the creator of this baby and He will get all the glory for it!
Thanks for reading!
Rapid Blogging - Blog #1: I'm a Copy-Cat!
It's been months since the last blog post here, and that's months too long, I know and I'm sorry! So, in attempt to win back the 4 readers who check up on our blog, I am going to bombard this blog with multiple entries tonight. Each blog entry will be about a different topic. Once I'm done, then you 4 readers will be all updated on our life, that is, as of August 6, 2010. Life changes so quickly that tomorrow could be a completely different day.
The purpose of this blog entry is to point out the fact that I am a total copy-cat. Or, as I would say when I was 10 years old, I'm a " total byter". I just read our friend's blog and he came up with the "Rapid Blogging" idea for his blog, since he hadn't updated in oh, a week. Which for him is a long time. But come on, really? The last blog post I did was all about my "new" job. HA! And it was written in April. It is now August and while I'd like to say that time was flying and I had no time to update the blog...I can't, because that would be an outright lie.
So, in an effort to continue being a total byter and copy-cat, let me just say "Meeeeoooww!" and go grab a Keebler oatmeal-chocolate chip cookie from my kitchen...I'm gonna take a giant bite out of it!
Okay, that was a lame joke. Sorry. Will try to be more funny and less stupid in the other blog entries tonight. :(
The purpose of this blog entry is to point out the fact that I am a total copy-cat. Or, as I would say when I was 10 years old, I'm a " total byter". I just read our friend's blog and he came up with the "Rapid Blogging" idea for his blog, since he hadn't updated in oh, a week. Which for him is a long time. But come on, really? The last blog post I did was all about my "new" job. HA! And it was written in April. It is now August and while I'd like to say that time was flying and I had no time to update the blog...I can't, because that would be an outright lie.
So, in an effort to continue being a total byter and copy-cat, let me just say "Meeeeoooww!" and go grab a Keebler oatmeal-chocolate chip cookie from my kitchen...I'm gonna take a giant bite out of it!
Okay, that was a lame joke. Sorry. Will try to be more funny and less stupid in the other blog entries tonight. :(
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Learning my limits
Well, last week was an eye opener of sorts. I have found either my physical limits or how far my base has fallen through my illness. I went for a lone mountain bike ride at Lake Crabtree and started out feeling really good, the bike was dialed, my legs felt a little rusty, but strong none the less. As I rode up the trail, I made it out to the main fire road that leads to loops 2-4, the pump track, and the beginner jump line.
I stopped at the jump line and ran through 6 times. It was the first time on my Mt. Vision (my bike). I was also using new tires that were a lot smoother, so they were a lot faster. The first run through on the small line, I over shot the landing on the first two of the three tabletops, but the bike was stable. Granted I am not getting tons of air, just enough to keep it fun.
After getting my fill on the jumps, I started down Loop 2 to connector E, then over to Loop 3 to 4 and while I was on Loop 4, my head started to throb, my back started to ache, and my hearing started to fade. I would focus on shaking it off and saying little prayers to have the strength to overcome it. I headed back to the car, then hung out and revived myself. I noticed that I was at 30 minutes of total riding time.
Hmmph! It is frustrating and encouraging at the same time. I know I am doing more than anyone at my clinic (physically, that is.) We dragged our friend to the Kidney Kare 5K to end up being the only two people on dialysis that showed up to run. The only two in the Triangle! With the way I feel after treatment, I am shocked that not one other patient showed up. What I mean by frustrating is, I used to be able to run well, and I am not even trying to compare myself to when I was in high school or college. Just a few years ago...wow, has it already been 6 years!!! Back in 2004, I had myself back in shape, to the point I was down to the weight and size I was when I was a Junior in High School. (202 lbs. and a 34 inch waist...almost 32).
Anyway, back to my new limits. I made it home, had a shower, then gathered my things for a repeat on Friday with a group from work. We were going to hit a new section of trail that some of the guys built. We left work for a lunch ride, I was already telling myself I needed to break off early to make sure I got back to work on time and not bite off more than I could chew. The pace we started with was manageable for a warmup, then we arrived at the trail head and it was on, it was a great start to the trail, good little climbs, technical decents, lots of fun. I allowed myself to get swallowed up in the fun because I looked at my timer and I was hitting 22 minutes and I was on the backside of a few large climbs to get back to work. I would get off and hoof it up some of the climbs. I wouldn't get as tired walking up the climbs.
By the time 30 minutes rolled around, I was still pretty far from work, and like clock work, my neck and shoulders started to ache, then the small of my back, but the dizzy spells didn't seem to come like normal. I had been praying whenever the weakness would come over me for God to give me the strength I needed to get back to work because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. The guys at work were great, they waited for me at forks in the trail and at the tops of climbs, but I would press them ahead, saying that I was fine and they could move on and don't let me hold them up.
We made it out to the end of the trail and started riding the road back, we are at 40 minutes now. I am cooked, limping back to work. I prayed to God that I would make it back with enough time to stop by Subway before heading back. Then God sent an angel in the form of a coworker, Chris, who came back to ride the rest of the way back to work. Looking at the time, I asked Chris if he would run to Subway for me, so I could get back. (It would probably take the same amount of time.) It took every bit of energy to get back to work. I made it and finished out the day.
On Saturday, I had a great meeting with some of the men from the church where Danielle and I are members. Afterward, I met up with my friend, neighbor, and coworker, Tony and a friend of his for a ride at Lake Crabtree. This time we rode the C connector to the Lake trail to Loop 1. We stopped at the jumps again, played around, then I had to call it a day. It was getting close to the time when my carriage was going to turn into a pumpkin. I was pressing 30 minutes for my ride time, so I bolted back to the car and started to feel the onset of weakness overtaking me. When I arrived at the Corolla, I leaned the bike on the car and plopped down in the driver seat and just listened to music for 20 minutes. I put the bike on the roof rack and had a moment of weakness midway where I had to drop the fork legs on the roof of the car to situate myself and reattempt. The next attempt was good. I sat back down to rest for a few more minutes. Then went and talked to a few guys at my old shop.
When I got home, I packed up my fishing gear and dragged Danielle along with me to go fishing at the West Point on the Eno River in Durham.
We could see 4-5 lbs carp in the river, but they weren't biting. We are going to go above the damn where there are bass and crappie next time.
Sunday was a good day, after church, we came back and made some BBQ...some NC BBQ, I made a homemade rub for it along with a homemade vinegar sauce that was a little hotter than in the past after adding a tablespoon of Habenero Sauce. Oh the fire, it burns! with spicy goodness that is.
While that was cooking I decided to try my hand at breading fish for the first time as well as making hushpuppies for the first time. I had to use store bought fish...grrr! All in all, it came out great.
Sunday evening, we went to the Historic Occoneechee Speedway Trail for a short hike. It is one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have been in a while. I was planning on stopping by after work today for some quiet time to commune with God. I decided against it, to go home and here about Danielle's interesting day with a neighbor to the club...maybe tomorrow?
I stopped at the jump line and ran through 6 times. It was the first time on my Mt. Vision (my bike). I was also using new tires that were a lot smoother, so they were a lot faster. The first run through on the small line, I over shot the landing on the first two of the three tabletops, but the bike was stable. Granted I am not getting tons of air, just enough to keep it fun.
After getting my fill on the jumps, I started down Loop 2 to connector E, then over to Loop 3 to 4 and while I was on Loop 4, my head started to throb, my back started to ache, and my hearing started to fade. I would focus on shaking it off and saying little prayers to have the strength to overcome it. I headed back to the car, then hung out and revived myself. I noticed that I was at 30 minutes of total riding time.
Hmmph! It is frustrating and encouraging at the same time. I know I am doing more than anyone at my clinic (physically, that is.) We dragged our friend to the Kidney Kare 5K to end up being the only two people on dialysis that showed up to run. The only two in the Triangle! With the way I feel after treatment, I am shocked that not one other patient showed up. What I mean by frustrating is, I used to be able to run well, and I am not even trying to compare myself to when I was in high school or college. Just a few years ago...wow, has it already been 6 years!!! Back in 2004, I had myself back in shape, to the point I was down to the weight and size I was when I was a Junior in High School. (202 lbs. and a 34 inch waist...almost 32).
Anyway, back to my new limits. I made it home, had a shower, then gathered my things for a repeat on Friday with a group from work. We were going to hit a new section of trail that some of the guys built. We left work for a lunch ride, I was already telling myself I needed to break off early to make sure I got back to work on time and not bite off more than I could chew. The pace we started with was manageable for a warmup, then we arrived at the trail head and it was on, it was a great start to the trail, good little climbs, technical decents, lots of fun. I allowed myself to get swallowed up in the fun because I looked at my timer and I was hitting 22 minutes and I was on the backside of a few large climbs to get back to work. I would get off and hoof it up some of the climbs. I wouldn't get as tired walking up the climbs.
By the time 30 minutes rolled around, I was still pretty far from work, and like clock work, my neck and shoulders started to ache, then the small of my back, but the dizzy spells didn't seem to come like normal. I had been praying whenever the weakness would come over me for God to give me the strength I needed to get back to work because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. The guys at work were great, they waited for me at forks in the trail and at the tops of climbs, but I would press them ahead, saying that I was fine and they could move on and don't let me hold them up.
We made it out to the end of the trail and started riding the road back, we are at 40 minutes now. I am cooked, limping back to work. I prayed to God that I would make it back with enough time to stop by Subway before heading back. Then God sent an angel in the form of a coworker, Chris, who came back to ride the rest of the way back to work. Looking at the time, I asked Chris if he would run to Subway for me, so I could get back. (It would probably take the same amount of time.) It took every bit of energy to get back to work. I made it and finished out the day.
On Saturday, I had a great meeting with some of the men from the church where Danielle and I are members. Afterward, I met up with my friend, neighbor, and coworker, Tony and a friend of his for a ride at Lake Crabtree. This time we rode the C connector to the Lake trail to Loop 1. We stopped at the jumps again, played around, then I had to call it a day. It was getting close to the time when my carriage was going to turn into a pumpkin. I was pressing 30 minutes for my ride time, so I bolted back to the car and started to feel the onset of weakness overtaking me. When I arrived at the Corolla, I leaned the bike on the car and plopped down in the driver seat and just listened to music for 20 minutes. I put the bike on the roof rack and had a moment of weakness midway where I had to drop the fork legs on the roof of the car to situate myself and reattempt. The next attempt was good. I sat back down to rest for a few more minutes. Then went and talked to a few guys at my old shop.
When I got home, I packed up my fishing gear and dragged Danielle along with me to go fishing at the West Point on the Eno River in Durham.
We could see 4-5 lbs carp in the river, but they weren't biting. We are going to go above the damn where there are bass and crappie next time.
Sunday was a good day, after church, we came back and made some BBQ...some NC BBQ, I made a homemade rub for it along with a homemade vinegar sauce that was a little hotter than in the past after adding a tablespoon of Habenero Sauce. Oh the fire, it burns! with spicy goodness that is.
While that was cooking I decided to try my hand at breading fish for the first time as well as making hushpuppies for the first time. I had to use store bought fish...grrr! All in all, it came out great.
Sunday evening, we went to the Historic Occoneechee Speedway Trail for a short hike. It is one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have been in a while. I was planning on stopping by after work today for some quiet time to commune with God. I decided against it, to go home and here about Danielle's interesting day with a neighbor to the club...maybe tomorrow?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Whoa, sorry! Big update!
I apologize for not blogging at all these past 3 weeks. I have a great excuse, though. What, no excuses, you say? No! Let me explain...please! :)
Okay, so I found employment! Whew. After being unemployed for 5 weeks, you can imagine how relieved both Rob and I were when this job came through! And it's not just any job, it was my "dream job"! I interviewed for this job back in early March and then didn't hear anything back for 3 weeks. I was so sad, thinking, "oh well, I guess that's not the job God had in His plan for me. God will provide something, just not this one..."
But the call finally came through one day, on the last day of March. 2 days later, I'm eating lunch with my future bosses, and they extend an offer of employment to me. 1 day later, I accept it. And 1 more day after that, I find out my job title - Interim Club Manager at Eno Valley Swim and Racquet Club! Hooray! I'm so excited to be working for such a great Club in Durham!
So I've been busy these past 2 weeks, to say the least! As Club Manager, I am in charge of "getting things done". Is that specific enough for you? :) Okay, how about this: I'm in charge of ensuring that daily Club operations run smoothly, addressing anything from broken tennis nets to keeping the Shack snack bar fully stocked. That, and manage a summer staff of about 15 kids with the help of 2 great Assistant Managers.
Yesterday my project was to find a solution and fix this:
Not pretty, huh? Now I don't know much about tennis, as I am mostly a swim girl, with the majority of my working experience coming from the pool deck. At first I thought, "uh oh, looks like this net is done. I better start researching how much a new net will cost and bring the proposal to the next board meeting." While that thought isn't a bad plan in itself, it still doesn't fix the problem for those who want to continue playing on that court. I would've never thought of this on my own, so I'm thankful for the great recommendation from the tennis chair on the Club's Board! He suggested this temporary fix:
Fishing line can be used for more than just fishin'...who knew? :)
I used 80 pound line found at Wal-Mart for a whole $3.75. Now people can continue to play on the court until a better solution can be found.
As I'm sure you can tell by my language and attitude on this blog, I am LOVING my new job!
Enough about me. Rob is doing okay, just hanging in there and trying to stay positive like he always does. He had his fistula maintenance appointment, a "tune-up" of sorts on his veins in his access arm last week. And he saw his fistula surgeon yesterday who explained the mystery behind the "new access sticking point" and his "old one". But first I have to update you on that...
The old one was having major problems about 3 weeks ago. He kept clotting and couldn't get good sticks in to start his dialysis treatments. So they sent him to Vascular Access Center here in Durham. What should have been a quick in-and-out visit ended up being a 5.5 hour "ok, I'm really worried, what's going on in there?" kind of visit. I even had to call Rob's boss and explain that Rob probably wouldn't be back at work that day. Rob came out of the "tune-up" room and wolfed down the sandwich they had provided him. Then the vascular surgeon came out and described/explained what he saw on the fistulagram.
Here's an image from Rob's fistulagram:
See that little, light gray vein in the bottom of that picture...well, that is where Rob has been sticking himself for the past 2 years in dialysis. See how at the top of that light gray vein, there is a little "bulge"? Well, that's where it clotted off, a long, long time ago. But Rob kept sticking there and doing dialysis, with no problems for 2 years.
See that dark gray vein, the one that makes an almost 90 degree right hand turn? Well, that is what the vascular surgeon decided to call Rob's "new access point". He cleaned it out, using instruments that vascular surgeons use, whatever they are called...Rob said he could feel them moving up his arm and poking around near his shoulder. ACK! UGH! Seriously? Ouch. The vascular surgeon was amazed that Rob's veins essentially "fixed themselves" after the clotting happened on the original route. So now Rob has 2 access points. The "old" one and the "new" one.
Here's a hand-drawn pic of Rob's fistula. As you can see, before attending Duke Medical School, this doc went to art school where I think he was given a B+ in Intro to Medical Drawing:
"Ahhh, now I see!" you are probably saying to yourself right now. The place with the dots is where Rob has been sticking himself for 2 years. The "new" location is to the right of that old one. So they stitched up Rob's buttonholes and Rob's been going through the painful process of making new buttonholes on the new access point. Last night was the second time that Rob was able to stick himself on his new access point. So hopefully soon, he'll be able to use blunt needles and it won't hurt as much as using sharps.
So yesterday's visit to the original surgeon who created Rob's fistula, explained a lot. He said that where Rob had been sticking himself for 2 years was originally his "alternate" route, and the "new spot" that was uncovered by the Vascular Access Center wasn't really a new spot at all - it was his original spot, where Rob should have been sticking himself all along. Oops.
One more picture of Rob's new access point:
Well, that's all for now. Hopefully it won't be another 4 weeks before you are updated again.
Okay, so I found employment! Whew. After being unemployed for 5 weeks, you can imagine how relieved both Rob and I were when this job came through! And it's not just any job, it was my "dream job"! I interviewed for this job back in early March and then didn't hear anything back for 3 weeks. I was so sad, thinking, "oh well, I guess that's not the job God had in His plan for me. God will provide something, just not this one..."
But the call finally came through one day, on the last day of March. 2 days later, I'm eating lunch with my future bosses, and they extend an offer of employment to me. 1 day later, I accept it. And 1 more day after that, I find out my job title - Interim Club Manager at Eno Valley Swim and Racquet Club! Hooray! I'm so excited to be working for such a great Club in Durham!
So I've been busy these past 2 weeks, to say the least! As Club Manager, I am in charge of "getting things done". Is that specific enough for you? :) Okay, how about this: I'm in charge of ensuring that daily Club operations run smoothly, addressing anything from broken tennis nets to keeping the Shack snack bar fully stocked. That, and manage a summer staff of about 15 kids with the help of 2 great Assistant Managers.
Yesterday my project was to find a solution and fix this:
Not pretty, huh? Now I don't know much about tennis, as I am mostly a swim girl, with the majority of my working experience coming from the pool deck. At first I thought, "uh oh, looks like this net is done. I better start researching how much a new net will cost and bring the proposal to the next board meeting." While that thought isn't a bad plan in itself, it still doesn't fix the problem for those who want to continue playing on that court. I would've never thought of this on my own, so I'm thankful for the great recommendation from the tennis chair on the Club's Board! He suggested this temporary fix:
Fishing line can be used for more than just fishin'...who knew? :)
I used 80 pound line found at Wal-Mart for a whole $3.75. Now people can continue to play on the court until a better solution can be found.
As I'm sure you can tell by my language and attitude on this blog, I am LOVING my new job!
Enough about me. Rob is doing okay, just hanging in there and trying to stay positive like he always does. He had his fistula maintenance appointment, a "tune-up" of sorts on his veins in his access arm last week. And he saw his fistula surgeon yesterday who explained the mystery behind the "new access sticking point" and his "old one". But first I have to update you on that...
The old one was having major problems about 3 weeks ago. He kept clotting and couldn't get good sticks in to start his dialysis treatments. So they sent him to Vascular Access Center here in Durham. What should have been a quick in-and-out visit ended up being a 5.5 hour "ok, I'm really worried, what's going on in there?" kind of visit. I even had to call Rob's boss and explain that Rob probably wouldn't be back at work that day. Rob came out of the "tune-up" room and wolfed down the sandwich they had provided him. Then the vascular surgeon came out and described/explained what he saw on the fistulagram.
Here's an image from Rob's fistulagram:
See that little, light gray vein in the bottom of that picture...well, that is where Rob has been sticking himself for the past 2 years in dialysis. See how at the top of that light gray vein, there is a little "bulge"? Well, that's where it clotted off, a long, long time ago. But Rob kept sticking there and doing dialysis, with no problems for 2 years.
See that dark gray vein, the one that makes an almost 90 degree right hand turn? Well, that is what the vascular surgeon decided to call Rob's "new access point". He cleaned it out, using instruments that vascular surgeons use, whatever they are called...Rob said he could feel them moving up his arm and poking around near his shoulder. ACK! UGH! Seriously? Ouch. The vascular surgeon was amazed that Rob's veins essentially "fixed themselves" after the clotting happened on the original route. So now Rob has 2 access points. The "old" one and the "new" one.
Here's a hand-drawn pic of Rob's fistula. As you can see, before attending Duke Medical School, this doc went to art school where I think he was given a B+ in Intro to Medical Drawing:
"Ahhh, now I see!" you are probably saying to yourself right now. The place with the dots is where Rob has been sticking himself for 2 years. The "new" location is to the right of that old one. So they stitched up Rob's buttonholes and Rob's been going through the painful process of making new buttonholes on the new access point. Last night was the second time that Rob was able to stick himself on his new access point. So hopefully soon, he'll be able to use blunt needles and it won't hurt as much as using sharps.
So yesterday's visit to the original surgeon who created Rob's fistula, explained a lot. He said that where Rob had been sticking himself for 2 years was originally his "alternate" route, and the "new spot" that was uncovered by the Vascular Access Center wasn't really a new spot at all - it was his original spot, where Rob should have been sticking himself all along. Oops.
One more picture of Rob's new access point:
Well, that's all for now. Hopefully it won't be another 4 weeks before you are updated again.
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