Rapid Blogging - Blog #4: My job, or lack thereof...

I am currently unemployed. And the decision to become unemployed was 100% mine. Yes, I know I wrote a blog post months ago about my "awesome new job" and how much I was loving it. But things change, oh boy, do they ever change!

What started off as a great job in April, soon turned into a mediocre job in late May/early June, which then turned into a "I'm not so sure about this job, but I'll hang in there and see what God has planned for me" in late June. The results of hanging in there? Well, I found out that my job had officially turned BAD, and there was nothing left for me to do except take my experience and leave.

I gave my resignation on July 2. It came as quite a shock to 2 of the Board members. How my resignation was received by the others on the Board, I'll never know. But I sure would like to know...especially from the person who was responsible for the chain of events that led to my choice to leave. When I say "person who was responsible", I don't mean the person or people who I point my finger at and say it was their fault. NO...it wasn't any one person's fault. I really mean the person who is in the leadership position at my old job. Anyone in a leadership position knows that when something goes wrong, there will be some blame assigned to them. That's just the nature of management and leadership. During all of the craziness that led up to my resignation, I never once tried to point the finger at one person and try to give the blame away. I took on some of the blame. I said things like, "I know I could've handled that situation differently. I learned something from that incident and I will not handle future problems this way." I humbled myself. I never once tried to lord my position or title over my employees, yet it seemed as though I did by the interpretation of my actions.

Even when given the chance to tell my side of the story to the Board of Directors and committee members, I told the truth of the matter, which came from my heart and not my head. I'm thankful that I am a Christian, that God has given me grace through faith which led to my salvation. Because of His saving grace, the Holy Spirit lives inside of me and that Spirit is God Himself, who is with me all the time, helping guide me and direct me in the ways I should go. Sometimes we encounter circumstances in our life where we feel deeply troubled. We wonder and ask ourselves, "Is this the right thing for me?" and then we get down and pray and ask "God, what do you want me to do? Show me and lead me to your will in this situation. I cannot do this alone."

I sought counsel from my Pastor on the troubles I was facing on the job. The outcome of the session was that my heart was not in right place. I was trying to fix the problem on my own. (even though I was not aware of it, I thought I was giving it up to God and trusting Him) So I prayed and prayed, and read the Word a lot (the book of James, chapters 1-3 is where I read from for the week leading up to my resignation). I sought after Jesus during these struggles, and He led me to speak with some people who were unrelated to my job who were able to confirm and answer my question about whether to continue in the job or not. The answer was no, you need to get out of there, this job is not right.

So I resigned and immediately, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt that everything was going to be okay, I had made the right decision and God will continue to take care of us, like He always does and will do.

The Bible verse that helped my decision is James 4:17. It reads, "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin." So if you knew that a co-worker was stealing from the petty cash drawer, and you know that it is wrong (duh), and still did not speak up and tell a manager about it, then you would be in the wrong. You would be sinning.

Well, my situation wasn't about someone stealing. It's about something you'd never find specifically in the Bible... which makes it difficult for some people to understand. Even unbelievers and agnostics know the basics of the major no-no's in the Bible. Thou shalt not commit murder, thou shalt not steal...etc. But for something that is based on professional standards, it's a lot harder to prove right from wrong, or rather, right from acceptable.

As Club Manager of Eno Valley Swim and Racquet Club, I was responsible for managing my staff of lifeguards and snack bar workers. Each worker had a list of standards that I had laid out at the beginning of summer which chronicled my expectations for them. You know, things like, "Be on time for work. If you're going to be late, please call me and let me know." Well, the expectation/standard that I gave to the lifeguards which eventually led to my resignation was this:

On duty lifeguards will sit in the lifeguard stand, attentively scanning their zone of the pool, and wearing the lifeguard rescue tube properly: strap across the chest, and the tube placed on the knees/thighs.

To make a long story short, the lifeguards did not like that standard/expectation. Why? Because they didn't have that as a standard the year before, or any of the 29 years before that either. The Club Manager before me did not care enough to mandate the professional standard of wearing your lifeguard uniform the proper way. The lifeguards resisted, and I reminded them. "Please wear your strap and place the tube on your knees...thank you!" -- I said that at least two times to the majority of my lifeguard staff. Well, the lifeguards finally had enough of me enforcing this standard/policy/rule of mine, and they fought back. They whined and complained to their parents and the Board members. The Board members felt sorry for them. The Board called a closed meeting between them and the lifeguards, and I was not invited. Then the Board wanted to hear my side of things. I presented to them the evidence of my staff not following the standard, along with the professional standards from the American Red Cross.

The end result was my boss telling me to "get rid of that rule and just let them do what they want when they're up in the guard stand." First, it was a directive. Then, the second time he said it during the same conversation, it was a suggestion. Then, when I asked him to put this all in writing, he got mad at me and yelled at me for making his job harder, and how awful that was to even ask because he has taken so much time out of his personal life this past week....

So, to conclude: It is wrong (to me) to allow lifeguards to NOT wear their strap and to let them use the guard tube as a foot rest. So since that is wrong to me, if I do it (because my boss told me, err, I mean, suggested I do it) it is sin. Hmmm, to sin or not to sin? That is the question! A Christian friend of mine put it this way, "If he is asking you to compromise on what you believe is right, then you know what you have to do. When you compromise from righteousness, it only leads to unrighteousness." Well said.

So I have been unemployed since July 2. But a week later, I found out that we were pregnant! So really, I do have a "job". I'm growing and nurturing a baby. And I'm still doing my "job" as wife to Rob. And all the other numerous things that go into it, like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. So I'm staying busy, or, as busy as I can, due to the effects of pregnancy on my body. I've dealt with morning sickness twice, general nausea too many times to count, and out-of-this-world tiredness like nothing I've ever felt before!

So I am really very happy to be unemployed right now. Sure, it'd be great to work a little outside of the home, to help pay more towards debts and future bills, but it's okay for now. I applied to a handful of jobs a few weeks ago, and nothing has come of them (and I'm well qualified for them), so I'm just going to be content with what I have that God has continued to bless us with: food, clothing, shelter, Rob's job, the new life growing inside of my womb... and trust that if God has work in my future, that it will come and I will know and be sure of it.

Thanks for reading!