Not that I needed a reminder, but God is AMAZING!

8 days ago, Rob and I received a really cool link in our inbox:

Click here for an article written about Rob

After reading the 2nd sentence of the article, I blushed a little and felt a little embarrassed. Why? Well, I'm not an Expert class racer anymore. I'm far, far, far away from truthfully being labeled an expert in cross country for USA Cycling. In fact, I've even forgotten my old race registration number, so even if I wanted (and I don't, let me be clear on that) to go back in the USA Cycling archives to momentarily puff myself up with how good of a racer I used to be, I can't. The extra 30 pounds I carry around all day is a good reminder of how far I've come since emerging from the darkness of my past - a life lived only for myself, for self-glorification, for others to pat me on the back and to overhear people saying nice things about me. I don't care about those things anymore.

Well, what do I care about now? Whew, that's a huge question, and I'd love to tell you readers, all 5 of them (ha ha ha!), all the specifics and tiny details about the love in my heart that changed my life, but...that'd be getting way off topic here for this post, so I'll leave you hanging for now about that....

Back to the article about Rob. You'll see that the author of the article writes about his encounter with Rob at work (Performance Bike in Cary, NC). After we read the article, Rob immediately recalled the man who wrote it, and said, "I meet lots of customers all day, and some, through the course of our conversation, do find out that I have no kidneys and I'm waiting on a transplant. But I never thought I'd deal with a customer who would then turn around and write an article about me, especially one that points to God as being the true 'Transplant Coordinator'".

The article left me still feeling a little embarrassed about the $300 shoe part...but, to be fair, I should note that the shoes didn't cost us $300, that's the retail cost. We get the cheap "pro deal" which is one of the perks of working in the bicycle industry.

Enough about Expert class, fancy shoes and me being embarrassed. What did the article accomplish for me? Easy answer here: It led me in a new direction towards my prayers for Rob's kidneys. I know prayers are a personal thing, and perhaps I shouldn't be saying this, but I'm going to be honest with you all. My prayer life still falls way short of what it should be and what I want it to be. Sometimes I wait until bedtime to pray and in the middle of praying, I fall asleep, not able to finish it. And other times, I pray silently to myself in the daytime, and then I lose focus (hello ADD?) and start pondering about something rather dumb and boring. Of course, I do have periods of time where my prayer life is feeling super groovy and deeply connected to God, but perhaps this wishy-washiness (wow, that's a real word!) is just something that all newer Christians go through?

As I continue to grow in my faith, so will my prayer life. God wants us to pray, to be in daily conversation with Him, and I admit, I struggle in this area. I typically pray the same kind of prayer every time I pray - a prayer of thanksgiving, thanking Him for my salvation, our jobs, the roof over our heads and the food in our fridge. Then I pray for a family member or a friend who specifically needs my prayer. I tend to finish up each prayer by asking for strength to persevere through the tough spots in the life we live in this world, and to help me live in a way that brings glory and honor to God. You would think that I would be praying specifically for a successful kidney transplant every chance I get, right? Not exactly...I don't know why, but I'd guess that Rob's kidneys (or lack thereof) make it into my prayers about 25% of the time. I know, crazy, huh?

Of course I've read Matthew 7:7 - 8:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Most people interpret this to mean that we can pray for the specific things we want, and because God is our Father and He loves us, He will respond by answering our prayer. It just feels weird because I know that everything I have is a direct gift from God. Therefore, I shall not want anything, because wanting things usually goes hand-in-hand with selfishness and vanity. I should be (and I am) content with my current possessions. To give you an example, I am content with my iPod, it works well holding about 750 songs when fully loaded. But my iTunes library is currently at 1500 songs, which means I have to manually select which songs/artists/playlists to sync to my iPod, which can be a pain in the tushie sometimes. Of course I've thought, "Gee, wouldn't it be nice to have a newer, more colorful, 16 Gig, video-capable iPod that automatically shuffles your songs when you literally shake it? Sure would, but we can't afford it." So, of course I'm not going to pray to God and ask Him to give us a fancy new iPod! But I think you're understanding where I'm going with this.

While there's pretty much no comparison between a new iPod and a new kidney, I still feel like they are sort of equal when it comes to prayer. So when I pray for Rob's health, I ask something along the lines of "God, please encourage Rob today, to stay strong in his faith, despite his current health and his dependency on dialysis to stay alive. Please help him watch his fluid intake and guard his heart from the strain of water weight gain between treatments. And please God, I know you know, in your master plan, you've got it all worked out, you know who and where Rob's new kidney is going to come from, and Lord, I know I cannot expedite the date of Rob's transplant, but God, please help strengthen us both, as we wait for this transplant, however long it takes, but...please let us find ways to continue to give you the glory for the journey that Polycystic Kidney Disease has taken us on."

I feel like there's no point in just praying something that gets right to the point, like "God, Rob needs a kidney, please give him one. Thanks. Amen." That sounds like something a 6 year old would pray. Even though Matt 7:7-8 is pretty clear, it's not like we're going to open our front door one morning to see a wicker basket containing a healthy, pink kidney and a note that says, "Love, God." While that sounds like a slightly funny, slightly possible Scrubs episode plot, we know it won't happen that way. God puts people together and makes circumstances happen for a reason. I guess I'd rather pray for the current situation than to pray for what we hope for in the future, because I know I can't change the future. God is in control. God makes things happen.

So the article made me think about the family of the person who will eventually donate a kidney to Rob. Rob will either receive a kidney from someone recently deceased, or he'll have a kidney donated by a living donor. So it made me think, if Rob gets a deceased donor kidney, that person who just died, will most likely have family and friends and co-workers and neighbors who all knew that person and who will be grieving at their funeral, and probably for weeks afterwards. But do those grieving family and friends know that through their tears of pain and loss, another family will be celebrating and praising God for a miracle? The article ended with the author's statement that he prayed for the donor, and then it dawned on me - I haven't prayed for the donor's family!

So later that night, I prayed for the donor, whether he/she will be living or deceased, and for the donor's family. And you know what? It felt amazing to do so! It didn't feel selfish at all! And it didn't feel weird, praying for a stranger, someone I don't know. I can and do pray for strangers sometimes, like the man I drove by about 3 days ago in the Arby's parking lot; his heart had stopped, and EMT personnel were performing CPR on him. I witnessed the scene for probably 3 seconds, but I prayed out loud in the truck for him, and I prayed for his family for at least a full minute. Tears welled up in my eyes as I did so, and at the time, I didn't know why. Last night, I found out why. I was reading up on WRAL.com on the local news when I saw the top headline was about a fatal accident at a railroad crossing that I'm very acquainted with. It's about 2 miles from our house, and I drive across this specific crossing at least 4 times a week. It was completely accidental, but an SUV holding a mother and her two sons, aged 6 and 9, were stuck on the tracks when the crossing arms came down (because of traffic congestion) and an Amtrack heading for Charlotte plowed into them. The impact injured the mother and killed the 2 boys. I started crying when I read this and I thought, God has a plan, He has his reasons for taking these boys so early, we may not understand it right now, but we will understand it later. God works even in loss, even in midst of disease, disappointment, and heartbreak. Just like when I was robbed and kidnapped in Houston in 2003, I didn't understand why that had to happen then. But years later, now, I do understand why God allowed me to go through that.

When I was reading the comments section below the article about the fatal car-train wreck, I found my answer to why I was crying when I prayed for the guy whose heart had stopped. I wasn't crying tears of loss or grief, because they are strangers, but tears of a sort of joy because God made himself known by this incident. And it makes me happy to see God working in other people's lives, because I know the joy personally of God working in mine.
Everything works for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). But you wouldn't have known it by reading the comments that some people were posting about this fatal accident. People were blaming the mother for being "so stupid" for stopping on the train tracks, saying that she'll live the rest of her life feeling sorry for her action which caused her 2 boys to die. When I read these comments, I became a little angry at the people behind those mean comments. Thankfully, my anger was short-lived, and my heart felt full suddenly. My heart was telling me, God did this, yes, it was accidental on the mother's part, but the mother isn't to blame. We shouldn't be blaming anyone after a tragedy like this. My apologies to any atheists who may be reading this, but evidence of God is all around us. He does exist and He is wonderfully orchestrating the lives of everyone on earth. Including you, and the person next to you. Have you thanked God for that lately? Maybe you've never even thought about that?

I certainly feel more optimistic than I had been feeling weeks prior to all this happening. I guess I needed a gentle reminder that God is in control, that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and GOOD. Take a deep breath and say it with me: God is GOOD! :)

Well, to finish my already long blog post, you must click on another article, which further proves God's awesomeness, like totally dude!

Here is a follow-up article from the same guy who wrote the 1st article.

Umm, wow. I am speechless. It may be a long shot, but like the article is titled, What are the odds? Coincidence? No, there's no such thing. Just the way life works out? Perhaps. God's answer to my prayer, the article author's prayer, and the prayer of the guy who wanted to donate his kidney? I think the answer just might be yes to that question. But we'll see. Of course I'll keep you all posted, all 5 of you (ha ha ha!)